Archives for January 2020

Dearest Roy,
Today I decided to tackle a lot of long-standing jobs that needed doing, as well as a few new things that popped up. Last night as I was getting ready for bed, I jumped in the shower to take my usual rinse-down when I discovered I had no hot water. When I looked this morning, there were several wires fried down by the hot water tank, so I started to fix it when Karl came by, so I let him do the rest. Meanwhile, I finally pounded the ladder back into shape, so now it’s nice and safe for the climb up to the attic/hay loft. That being the case, I climbed up to bring some stuff down, beginning with the heavy skirting that goes around the RV. I found three pieces that will enclose the gooseneck and put those up, and left the rest in the box, which I have to find a place to store around Jeff’s house, which shouldn’t be too hard.
We tried to fix that intermittent problem we were having with the electrics, you know that little switch on the chassis behind the battery box, but it was practically impossible to get out the battery like that, so we cut open the battery box instead in order to get it out. We did some cleaning of the contacts and connections, made sure no wires were grounding out and put it all back together again. Naturally, we had a problem then, because I had told Karl not to disconnect anything until I put labels on all the wires (you know how much trouble we had getting that system right!) But he didn’t listen and disconnected everything before I got back with labels two minutes later. So naturally, he rewired it wrong when he put it back together, and I was only getting a reading of 6 volts on the invertor, and after screwing around for 15 minutes, he finally realized he put one of the wires on the wrong terminal, exactly as I was hoping to avoid with the labels! Well, eventually we got it right and everything was back to normal, and hopefully I won’t have that electrical problem again.
Then we took off the batteries from the Open Range, because even though I’ve tried to charge them all week, they’re still not working right, so I went down to Advance Auto to replace them. Unfortunately, the guy there was a bit of a hard case, and wouldn’t let me have a discount, even though I told him I would have ordered them online except I wanted to make sure they were bad before I did that. Instead of just giving me the discount, he insisted I order them online, on my phone, so that I could then “pick them up” with the discount. What a load of crap! What I did on my phone instead was confirm I could get a couple of batteries at Walmart cheaper, and left that store, since I had to go to Walmart for some other stuff anyway. His loss, for being so ridiculous. Anyway, I filled up three propane tanks at Jupiter Hardware (best price in town), did my other running around, getting back late afternoon. Jeff and neighbor James were heading out to the mud bog (which was canceled, surprise, surprise), and then off to dinner at the Mexican place, but I have so many leftovers in the refrigerator, I declined to go. Karl put the new batteries on the Open Range, and hallelujah! The slides finally came out! Hopefully we’ll soon be able to learn why the unit isn’t recharging the batteries when shore power is on, but that’s a chore for another day. At least now I can get the carpet cleaners in so I can put it on the market. Spent the evening eating some of those leftovers, and bingeing on Suits and Cheers. After taking a nice hot shower (well, more lukewarm, only because it’s still warm outside), I’m heading off to bed. Good night, my love!

Dearest Roy,
Things quieted down a bit today, I didn’t have to go anywhere, so I concentrated on contacting all of the various places that will need paperwork to update accounts and stuff. The funeral home wants to know how many copies of the Death Certificate I need, so that was the exercise for today. Karl talked about going to a movie, but that never happened, which was probably a good thing, it’s been so busy, so a quiet day was a good idea. I had a long conversation with Donna, my friend from Cleveland this afternoon, she’s talking about coming down later in the season.
I’m thinking about going to the Florida Cattle Drive reunion now, and Jeff’s even considering coming with me. I don’t want to have to break down the whole trailer, though, so I think I’m just going to tent it, and hope for better weather than when we were on the actual cattle drive! I know you won’t forget how cold it was, then how rainy it was, then how wet it was (who could forget sleeping in wet clothes in a wet tent, a wet sleeping bag, a wet pillow!) Wouldn’t have thought it was possible, but we did it anyway! Next year, in 2021, they’ll be having the actual 500th anniversary of the arrival of cattle in Florida, so that’s likely to be a big one, I’m thinking about doing that one already, too, but we’ll see.
Meanwhile, once the afternoon ended, I binged on several episodes of Suits, then a couple of Cheers!, two of which you would have hated, as they were retrospectives, but I slogged through them. I finally got around to putting out a couple of mousetraps under the slide, Lola’s been barking at the floor again, so hopefully I can start to get rid of them.
Well, not much else to report. As I said, a quiet day! Love you! Good night!

Dearest Roy,
I kept busy again today, starting out with the usual chores, then discussing with brother Karl the problems with the Open Range that needed to be solved, then kept an appointment down at the funeral home in Lake Worth where I picked out a beautiful carved box for your remains. As promised, I’m going to have it engraved just as you wanted it, with the poem by Omar Khayyám:
“The Moving Finger writes; and, having writ,
Moves on: nor all thy Piety nor Wit
Shall lure it back to cancel half a Line,
Nor all thy Tears wash out a Word of it.”
I’m so glad we always had the philosophy of looking to the future and not wasting time on the past and things we couldn’t change, it served us so well, and continues to do so.
Then the folks at the funeral home did something really above and beyond. Remember that Australian movie we watched about a week ago, Red Dog, a legendary canine that traveled thousands of miles across the countryside in search of his master that had died? At the time I said to you they should have just let the dog see the body, he would probably have figured it out. With that in mind, I took Lola with me, hoping they would let her see you, so that she would be at peace. She’s been sitting at the screen door a lot, evidently waiting for you, and I wanted to try to let her have the chance to understand. Well, at first they were reluctant, saying I would need to schedule a viewing to do that, which wasn’t something we were going to do, but after a while, they got together, and all being dog lovers themselves, they brought you out to a small viewing room and let me and Lola spend a few minutes with you alone. Lola took a good long look at you, and even snuffled your face a little, and I really think she understood. Their kindness made me a bit teary, and was so grateful to them for that gesture! Really above and beyond, and much appreciated!
Since we didn’t get a chance to see our friends on Boxing Day this season, and since I was in Lake Worth anyway, I contacted Jayne to see if she wanted to have lunch together, and she met me there so we could travel in one vehicle. Ironically, she suggested we have lunch on the Lake Worth Beach, which, of course, brought a moment of tears to my eyes. You and I both know why. After that night I fixed your motorcycle during a rehearsal of Lysistrata, which evidently impressed you enough to start noticing me as something more than your T&A character in the play, and we starting talking after every rehearsal, longer and longer each night, until two weeks later, on the night before we opened, we spent the entire night talking, driving down to Lake Worth Beach to watch the sun come up over the Atlantic Ocean together, then having breakfast at John G’s right there on the beach (Eggs Benedict, of course!), that was when I knew we would spend the rest of our lives together. That night, after the opening night cast party, I asked you if you wanted to come home with me, and you said yes (which I famously joked about later, “and I haven’t been able to get rid of him since!”), and that was the beginning of it all. Hard to believe it was almost 34 years ago now! Anyway, I decided it would be a great way to circle back and close that loop, so we went down to that same building, though John G’s is gone and a new restaurant is there called Mulligans. Naturally it’s completely different, but the location is the same, so it fit the bill. It was very windy, but we sat outside with Lola anyway (who kept herself busy pointing at pigeons that were walking by looking for scraps) and reminisced a bit, and got caught up on each other’s lives somewhat. It was a nice lunch, and I appreciated the company.
After dropping her back off at her truck, I took a quick detour to Walmart for some fuel, then up to Town and Country for hay, where I got a phone call from Karl wanting to go back to the Irish Pub but Jeff’s job was turning out to take longer than I expected and could I come and get him and take him to the pub? So I turned back around and we did just that. You know what a sucker I am for Guinness on tap, and I ended up probably having one too many, because we stayed until the Irish music started (a regular Thursday night event, apparently), and Jeff joined us after about an hour, making it quite the family affair. Inevitably, we talked about stuff that happened when we were kids, about the cottage, about times from nearly 40 years ago now, some of which I had never heard before. Eventually we made it back home by 9:00, got the animals fed, and finally settled down for a short evening. Good night, my love! Love you!

Dearest Roy,
Today was a busy day, which is a good thing, because it means I’m moving forward, like we’ve always done. I called your sister yesterday to let her know what happened, and messaged her daughter Sue, too, and later in the day I e-mailed your daughter Kim to let her know as well.
This morning I managed to get the lift chair that you decided you didn’t like to work, though for a while there it quit. Not sure why it stopped, or even why it started again, but it was working when brother Karl and I loaded it up into the truck and delivered it to a very deserving woman up in Stuart, who, like you, was having trouble walking and getting up out of her chair. Got a good price on it, actually made a bit more than I bought it for, so that was a good thing. I made most of the arrangements with the funeral home, so that’s being taken care of as well, and spoke to Candy up at the Fresenius (you know your usual nurse Rita is on vacation), who said she would make all the arrangements for picking up your dialysis machine and all the remaining supplies, which will certainly give me a lot more space in my kitchen and in the stud stall!
After we dropped off the chair, we headed over to the Kane Center, because it’s Wednesday, and you know Wednesday is Euchre day. I know you were helping me today, because my partner (not brother Karl) and I won every single game except one, when I figured you went out to lunch or something, so thanks for the help! I brought Lola in with me, all dressed up in her Therapy Dog vest, and she made a lot of people smile like she always does.
Shortly after we got home, brother Jeff invited me to come with him and Karl to join their friend John at Angelo’s Too, so I got that Italian food I was craving last week after all. Got home and took care of the horses, and shortly afterward went to that OTL (Ocean-to-Lake) trail ride meeting, in person instead of on the phone like I had done the last two months, and there’s a bunch of problems they’re having to face now because of a screw up at Jonathan Dickinson State Park, so it looks like that will keep me busy for a while, too. You know how I love to solve problems! Finally got back home at nearly 9:00, so now I’m settling down for the evening to a little TV before going to bed. I love you, I miss you, but I know you’re keeping an eye on me, because I can feel you here with me. Good night, my love!

Things were not better in the morning. Despite valiant efforts by the entire staff at Jupiter Medical Center, Hubby continued losing ground until finally, at around 9:30, he departed this world, scattering his spirit to the universe. After a tearful good-bye and completion of the necessary paperwork, I returned home to our trailer and our critters, alone for the first time in nearly 34 years. But our lifelong philosophy has been burned into my habits: Look forward, envision what’s going to come next, and make it happen. Years ago, we read a newspaper column where the writer described life as “sitting on the tailgate of a pickup seeing where you’ve been.” Hubby and I were both amused by that, realizing that, unfortunately, that is exactly how many people view life. We, however, insisted on jumping into the front seat and driving, always looking forward, not backward in life. “Water under the bridge,” was one of his favorite phrases, and we learned to let everything go quickly, always looking forward, never backward, except to occasionally share a treasured moment we had together. I intend to continue living my life like that as best I can, to make us both happy. In that spirit, when I arrived home from the hospital, I saddled up Apollo, who has been there for us since December 2000, and was there on the trail (with his Mama) through all 48 contiguous states over eight years, and we headed out back to the Hungryland WMA. For the first time, Lola, our wonderful dog, joined us. While she was always with us whenever it was possible when we both rode together, as Hubby wasn’t able to ride as frequently and I rode on my own, Lola refused to come with me, staying behind to take care of Hubby. Today, she came with us, establishing our “new normal.” We took a nice 4 mile ride out and back (with all the rain, it was too wet to cross the swamp in a loop), then I let the horses out to roam the yard. I fixed the screen door that Lola had destroyed a few days ago, then arranged to meet my two brothers at a local pub for Guinness and a meal. I had them pour one for Roy, setting his hat on a seat next to me, in remembrance. In further remembrance, I am going to change the format of this diary from what it’s been to “Dear Roy,” writing it in letter style to fill him in (and you, vicariously) on what’s happening in my life, and the lives of all those he loved. He was the greatest man I ever knew, and I was privileged and honored that he chose me to spend the last 34 years of his life with. We said, “I love you” to each other every day, and we both adored one another, even when we were having one of our many spirited discussions. Actually, it was one long conversation we started back in 1986 and have kept going ever since. He is my soul mate, and always will be. I even coined a word for it “uni-phrenic,” meaning one person in two bodies, which is how we felt about each other, we were one and the same. I shall miss him more than I can even imagine right now, but I know just how many thousands of people he has inspired over his lifetime, including me, with his love of life, his performance skills and his great teaching ability. Rest In Peace, my love, you will always be with me, now and forever. George Roy Henderson, March 18, 1934-January 7, 2020.

What a day! First Hubby had me get up at 5:00 am because his arm hurt so much he could barely touch it. I thought that I really needed to take that last speck out, so I was preparing to put ice on it to numb it so I could get the rest of it out, but it was too painful for Hubby, so we decided that instead, since we were up so early anyway, we would get ready and go to a walk-in clinic before going to his cardiology appointment and have them numb it and finish taking it out. The clinic didn’t open until 8:00, but by the time I made coffee and got the horses fed, dawn had arrived. Fortunately Jeff is a pretty early riser, too, and once Hubby was dressed, Jeff and I had to get him out to the truck. He was weaker than ever today, so much so his legs were practically useless, and we had to get him into a folding chair and carry him out to the truck. He is getting so frustrated at his weakness, and the fact that so much of these problems seem to have begun at our last hospital stay. We arrived at the clinic just as they opened their doors, and proceeded to do exactly what I thought needed to be done, numbing and removing that little speck, than bandaging it before we left. From there we went straight to his cardiologist, arriving about 10 minutes late, but we had no trouble getting in, albeit in a wheelchair they provided. None of the staff seemed able to get a blood pressure reading, and Hubby started getting really short of breath. He’s been doing that a lot, usually after some little exertion, but now it was happening without hardly any exertion at all. After the doctor saw him, though, and checked out a few things, he firmly suggested we go straight over the Jupiter Medical Center and get him in to the ER. He called ahead to speed up the process, and in spite of Hubby’s aversion to hospitals at this point, he was more adverse to the pain and inability to breathe, so we headed straight over and got ourselves admitted. Lots of tests were taken, and while waiting for the results, his breathing got worse and worse. They put him on oxygen, first just through the nose, then with a mask, then with a machine that pushed air right into him, one step away from a full ventilator. That got him a bit more stable, but he was still having trouble. As the test results started to come in, it was decided he needed to be moved to the Intensive Care Unit, which happened about 4:00, give or take. Once up there he was surrounded by a bevy of doctors, nurses, and lots of others trying to make him comfortable. They put me in the waiting room, which lasted about 20 minutes before I insisted on looking in on him, and learned that he had almost crashed when they took him off the respirator to transport him. The whole time they were still trying to stabilize him, and were finally succeeding when I arrived. Whew! Close call! I stayed close for several hours after that, taking a short trip to the cafeteria for some soup and salad (the Snickers from the vending machine was all I’d had today), then just after I got back to ICU the cardiologist that sent us over here came by, and we discussed what some of the difficulties and options for care might be. I hadn’t planned on staying the night, but he said he thought I should, so after he left, I ran home to drop off hay (Jeff had already fed them for me), and left Lola for him to look after as well. I packed up some things, including a pillow and blanket for me, change of clothes and other sundries, computer, phone charger, the usual travel items, and returned to the hospital. With nurses coming and going, more tests being done, and lots of activity, I expect it’s going to be a long night! Here’s hoping things are better in the morning!

A cold front bringing some rain came through yesterday afternoon, so today was quite cool relatively speaking, so we spent the day relaxing after such a busy week, though I spent much of the time trying to solve another medical problem. Hubby told me his arm was hurting, and when I looked at it, it was very red and swollen, looking like it was infected, but with no pus or discharge coming from the buttonholes. I started him on some antibiotics we had leftover from his bronchitis episode a few weeks back, and put ice on it to bring down the swelling. He didn’t have a fever, so I wasn’t too worried, and the swelling did go down after awhile. Then I remembered that earlier this week, we had found a little speck on his arm that looked like a bee sting, and that maybe the stinger was still in there, so I did my best to get it out, but maybe I didn’t get all of it. Anyway, that speck seemed to be where the pain emanated, and if it was a bee sting or insect bite, it’s possible that it may have caused the redness and swelling, so maybe it wasn’t an infection in the fistula, which would be a very welcome alternative explanation. Since we were already doing everything that could be done, keeping the arm elevated, icing it and taking the antibiotics, we just hoped for the best and settled down for the evening. Onward, ever onward!

Started off the morning by getting our “house” in order, putting down the porch carpet, putting up the screen room, getting out the lounge chairs and generally making ourselves more a home now that we weren’t stuck in a puddle. I found that I was only about 12 feet shy of making the sewer connection, so I ran into Walmart and bought a 15 foot kit (I was hoping for just the hose, but it turned out the kit was a better deal, and they were out of just hoses anyway). That turned out to work beautifully, the attached end fit perfectly into the sewer pipe and I was able to do a good, long overdue clear out of the black water tank. Meanwhile, I got Hubby on his dialysis machine, and had another very good session, though still using one sharp. I’m pretty sure I can go to the blunt needle on Monday for his arterial, as both accesses are working quite well now. Feeling like “home sweet home” was now pretty well set, and looking forward to finally getting back to normal, albeit Hubby has a way to go to get stronger, but now that all the stress of the holidays and being in the mud is gone, we’re hoping he’ll finally be on the mend! Fingers crossed!

After being on low ground, and thus wading through water and mud every time I left the trailer (not to mention mopping muddy dog prints 10 times a day!), it finally dried out enough for Jeff’s friend with the big truck to come over and pull us out. We decided to back sort of kitty-corner in front of the pool, which was definitely high ground, with easy access to water, and maybe even close enough to the pipe by the house that dumps directly into his septic tank, which would make life much easier if we can manage to reach it. With that job done, with grateful thanks to Jeff’s friend, Hubby and I ran out to Ranch Feed for some hay and horse feed, then stopped at an Indian restaurant for lunch, which was quite a challenge getting him into with his very weak legs, not to mention his stiffness from the fall last night, but the kindness of strangers once again came through, and we enjoyed a nice meal with lots of leftovers. Then we headed out to the nephrologist’s office for his appointment, which was the usual but he did suggest using Benadryl as a sleep aid, since Hubby’s still having problems getting a whole night sleep. Stopped at Walmart to shop on the way back, and picked up some of that as well as some other shopping, and managed to get home just as it was getting dark, just in time to feed the horses and settle in for the night.

It was such a lovely day today, actually on the hot side, so Hubby agreed to come out and sit by the pool for awhile. He’s been cooped up for so long, he really needed some fresh air, so I grabbed Jeff’s little utility cart and drove him over to the pool where he got settled in for the day. There’s very little shade there, but Hubby reminded me that we had a camping canopy that we had bought many years ago and only used a couple of times, so I climbed up to the attic/hay loft and got it down and set it up by the pool, which helped quite a bit. We spent pretty much the whole day there reading, and I even jumped into the pool a couple of times to cool off, it was that warm a day! Just the kind of day you enjoy in South Florida in January, and precisely why we come here during the winter! It would have been a fabulous day all around, except for the terrible incident when we went back to the trailer. I managed to get Hubby up the stairs and into the trailer, and he was just one step away from his recliner when I went back to get some stuff out of the cart. I thought he was fine, but at the last second before getting into his chair, he lost his balance, grabbed onto a stool for support, but it was at the wrong angle and the stool started to fall over. Hubby fell backward into the screen door, which pushed open, and Hubby toppled down the steps onto the muddy ground! OMG! I tried to get him up but couldn’t, so I got Jeff to come out and help me get him back inside to his chair. He was a mess with a cut bleeding on his forehead, fortunately not very large, but I cleaned it up and put a couple of butterfly bandages on it. His big toe had a huge swath of skin ripped off, as well as on his calf and several places on his hands. I cleaned and bandaged them all, and was thankful that it wasn’t much, much worse, which it could easily have been. He’s going to feel like he’s been in a car wreck for a few days, but it doesn’t seem to be too serious, thank goodness! Well, after all that excitement, it took some time for us to settle down for the night, but eventually things got back to normal. Well, at least as normal as it can be with Hubby being so weak these days. Fingers crossed he’s on the mend!