My dearest, dearest Roy,
"It was a day blessed with little wind...," as Galileo would say. Well, maybe a slight breeze from the south, but hardly a cloud in the sky, temps in the low 80's absolutely perfect for the pool party Celebration I had planned. I was up early and took a run to Publix, worried about getting bread, since Jeff said there was almost none yesterday afternoon, but I figured the bakers would be working overtime to increase the supply today, and indeed, there was plenty when I got there, still warm from the oven. It was really crowded, and when I asked someone if it was always busy this early on a Saturday morning, the answer, of course, was no, it was usually pretty slow at that time. Anyway, I got the bread and a few other essentials that I needed and was back in plenty of time. The cake, which I fashioned just like our Wedding Cake (carrot cake with sour cream filling and butter cream frosting with burgundy piping, but just one layer), wasn't ready yet (I had told them 11:00), but I figured I could sent someone back later to pick it up. Got back and started my final preparation, everything except getting the food out. LaChrissney and her husband Thomas (along with baby Ayla) arrived around 10:30, so I put them to work immediately, with her making balloons for the end of the driveway and him trying to figure out how to get Jeff's DVD player working. I had asked Jeff days ago if it worked, and he said yes, as far as he knew, but when I tried to get it going, the door where you put the disk in wouldn't open. Fortunately he had another one, but that needed rewiring, and the speakers hummed when I did it, so I set Thomas (who is an IT guy) onto that, and he managed to get that working well. Then I had him do a final pressure wash of the deck. You'll be happy to know that except for the few from NY that canceled, mostly due to the craziness over the corona virus, it was a pretty decent turnout. I heard some great stories, things I hadn't heard or noticed before, so it was fun. I had videos of you in Darrow and Galileo going on the TV all day, and my new friend Maggie, whom I met on the OTL, spent all day thoroughly intrigued watching you. Poor Jayne couldn't bear to watch, it made her teary-eyed just to hear your voice in the room. Others dipped in and out between conversations. Martin and Deirdre and their daughter Ginny came all the way down from Atlanta. They actually flew in yesterday, and had to fly out again in the evening in order for Martin to be back at work by 7:00 am on Sunday. It was great to see them, though, we reminisced quite a bit about things at the Manchester Parnassus. Bob and Irene and Sam came, of course, and Michelle flew in last night and rented a convertible, and left late in the afternoon for a quick weekend vacation in the Keys. Glenn smoked a bunch of chicken, but by the time it was ready, everyone but the family had already gone, no one could stay very late, unfortunately. There was tons of food anyway, plates of cold cuts, salads and snacks, so nobody starved, and lots of leftovers so we won't have to cook for a week! I was glad to have the refrigerator in the Open Range going, so I was able to store a lot of stuff in there. The only disappointment was the cake I ordered from Publix, which I had Dena pick up for me. If I had gone, I would never have accepted it, they really screwed it up. Instead of putting the writing on first (the message was "Happily Ever Afterlife, Roy," a sentiment I knew you would appreciate!) then decorating around it, they put four massive roses on it (not even around the edges), then didn't have room to write on it! The decorator had called me earlier and asked my if I wanted to put in on a "plaque" that I could set in the middle (though I couldn't understand why, and by then I was too distracted to figure it out), but all she did was write on a plastic sheet that we were supposed to somehow scrape off and put on ourselves! What a disaster! Dena did manage to take scissors and cut enough of the plastic around the letters, and scrape down enough of the roses to make it work, but to cut it, I had to go under the plastic. You can bet I will have words with that decorator next time I go into Publix! Grrr! Then I remembered, when I ordered our original wedding cake, I had ordered a particular top piece, you know, the bride and groom centerpiece? I remember when I went to go pick it up, they didn't have the centerpiece, even though I had ordered it weeks before, and we ended up with something I liked a lot less. I also remembered a lot of other things that went wrong just before the wedding, like the best man not getting the right suit that we had ordered and a bunch of other things. I was afraid at the time it might have been a sign that we were making a mistake, but it was way too late by then! And, of course, everything turned out pretty well, as we were together almost 34 amazing years! Promises made, promises kept! Anyway, a lot of the party-goers came inside the trailer and paid you their respects, Ginny spent all day in the pool and playing with Lola, who was so tired by the end of the afternoon she actually laid down by the patio table, a sight most of the family has never seen! Everyone seemed to enjoy themselves, and that was the point, so I guess it went well. Glenn's smoked chicken turned out really well, albeit a little later in the day than we hoped, but we'll have lots of leftovers of that to much on all week. After we got the horses fed, we waited until it got dark and finally lit the bonfire, only a year overdue, but it was lovely, didn't get out of hand, though the flames probably topped off at about 20 feet for awhile. It finally all ended around 10:00, with the flames dying down, me taking a shower and heading off for bed. Before I did, though, I hugged you in your beautiful box and had a good cry, something I haven't really done since the day you passed from this life. I'm staying strong, my love, but I miss you. I miss your voice, I miss your stories, I miss how you would tell me your dreams every morning, I miss your hugs, and yes, I miss you doing the dishes, one of the promises you made early on that signaled to me a true partnership. The other was that I would never be bored, and you certainly did that! Our life was so full, when I look back on it now it almost seems like a dream, that it couldn't have actually happened, it was so magical, our souls so intertwined. I kept my final promise to you, too, by engraving that poem that you always wanted on the box where you now rest, by Omar Khayyam.
"The Moving Finger writes; and having writ,
Moves on: nor all they Piety nor Wit
Shall lure it back to cancel half a Line,
Nor all they Tears wash out a Word of it."
A perfect philosophy for moving on, and not wasting time grieving about the past and what's been lost. I think my biggest challenge for the future is to keep from getting bored, though I know that won't happen for a while as there is so much to do. It's a lot simpler now, I have to admit, my choices for what I have to do for the day are much wider every morning, and I just have to be careful I don't let myself get in a rut. I've been so focused on this event, now I have to turn my eyes to the next one, which is the job out in Vegas that has been scheduled for months. After that, it's starting to move north, as it surely will be getting too hot by mid-April to stay here. The question then will be, where to go? But I'll cross that bridge when I come to it, that's still nearly a month away. Meanwhile, off to bed, I intend to take the day off tomorrow! Love you, miss you, love you so much! Good night, my love!
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